About Us

Hello, my name is Eric Ridenour, and for most of my life I have hated life. Suffice it to say I did not have an ideal childhood. My father raised me, my mother died when I was young, and I moved out of my parents house when I was in 11th grade. It all went downhill from there. I spent years struggling with addiction, trying to finish college, going to jail, having to make compromise after compromise in life constantly having to forgo progress for survival, sometimes having to commit crimes for survival.


My Background

At one of my low points I was sleeping on the roof of an apartment building literally stealing bread from a bakery just to fill my stomach. You get the idea, I have not done well. With years of struggling to get by, moving up a rung or two on the ladder, back down again and repeat, but never getting too far, the worst came in the housing market crash. I put in something like 500 online applications, about 200 in person resumes and applications, and nothing, for years. I couldn’t even get a bad job. The older I would get, the more unmanageable things got. I was at one point taking about 8 medications for depression and bipolar, which made me drowsy, then another to make me sleep since I couldn’t sleep, sometimes skipping days when I couldn’t handle it, other days drinking into oblivion just to escape my mind. I was suicidal for most of 2005-2015. 


With no other options, I moved in with another woman who was an alcoholic, and things really went downhill from there. Heavily medicated, depressed, alcoholic and so beaten down I didn’t even have the will to bother killing myself anymore, I hated myself so much at this point I felt I deserved the misery. I was looking forward to drinking myself to death or something before I turned 50. There I was, living with an abusive, alcoholic miserable human being, at this point seeming to look for reasons to punish myself for my failure in life. For some reason I looked for suffering. I welcomed it.


Then Came The Abuse 

Let me backtrack here a bit. I also have a criminal record with a few arrests. Some I am guilty of, others I am not. I got busted for petty possession when I was 18, and that has followed me all my life. Police target me, even with 5,6,7 years of not doing anything wrong. Once a criminal, always a criminal to most, but not all police officers. They will assume you are always guilty of something, and when you assume someone is guilty, that means you will always go to jail whether you did anything or not. So, eventually I get arrested for attacking my wife, with my face. I attacked and broke her hand. I went to jail. I spoke to the prosecutor, she even confessed to punching me in the face as I laid down in bed in anger. I was still charged because the DA said I was a threat. While laying down sleeping. I was guilty of attacking her hand with my face. That was what they actually claimed and refused to press charges against her even though she confessed right in front of me.


Vamos a Peru!

That was the last straw. I left her and she took everything. She conned me out of what I was owed property wise, I was left with nothing. I had nothing to lose. No more property, no money, no job, nothing. That was when my brother told me I should just get away and come visit him in Peru. So, I packed a single suitcase and a backpack and headed down with $300 in my pocket. I paid a months rent at a hotel and started freelancing on Upwork to come up with the $500 a month I needed to get by, not doing much else. The first few months I did very little. Just laid around, playing video games, drinking, decompressing. I mostly checked out from the world. This was right before Trump and Hillary, and I was pretty much just over America at the moment. Over the police, over the bad choices, over the system. I hated what made me miserable for most of my adult life.


Slowly, things started changing. I began helping my brother in his church. I began seeing what real poverty was. What real pain is. Sure, I had been homeless before, I had gone without food, but I had never had to live in a home where the restroom was a hole in the backyard and the shower a garden hose attached to a pole. I was seeing small things to be thankful for. I began to appreciate some things in life. I suppose you can say I was finally healing. Here I am 4 years later. I am happier, I am healthier. I have changed my outlook, my diet, my mind, for the first time in my life I became a father at 42 years old because I no longer feared passing on my horrible life to my children. I still have bouts with depression and bipolar swings(I made this website in a manic binge for three days!), but I am manageable. I am overall happy. I have studied a lot and reflected and worked really hard to grow.
If I can come as far as I have in my 40’s and find peace and happiness from suicidal homelessness, depression and alcoholism, then so can most of you. I have faith in all of you.


This is my new blog where I document my journey and some of the things I have learned that helps make me a better person. One critical part of finding happiness is focusing on the positive. 

 

Welcome and thank you for joining me on my journey and I hope I can help you do the same!

 

In an internet filled with negativity, we bring you the best stories of a positive and happy nature to you!