Top 10 ways to make your life more positive.
That is what Aristotle said. It has been repeated throughout time in other ways. Even AA has it as one of their 12 steps, instructing people to take a “fearless moral inventory” of themselves as the beginning of their new and improved drug free life.
Stop making assumptions, stop jumping to conclusions, stop reacting without thinking. Be slow, clear and deliberate in your actions and reactions.
Don’t sweat the small stuff.
There are a lot of platitudes that go with this. Choose your battles. There are things we do not like everywhere. There are things people don’t like about us everywhere. There is no happiness in always being upset. Being an idealist is great. Getting angry with everyone that does not fit your ideals in every way is a waste of time.
You can’t make everyone happy
So don’t even try. Some people are not going to like you. That is ok. There is no point in trying to get everyone to like you. Even when you try your hardest, some people will just act like they like you to not have to put up with your attempts to be friends. Focus on those you connect with. There are billions of people on the planet, we only really need a couple friends to be happy. If you can’t find 3 people you truly enjoy being around, you are hanging out in the wrong places.
Don’t just wait for your counterargument, don’t just let people talk, actually listen to what people are saying. Even if it is repulsive! I once listened to a rapist brag about people he took advantage of. I was repulsed. But like rule #4, I wasn’t there to make friends, I began listening as a possible witness.
Other times with people I disagree with I still listen. I have listened to real actual Nazi skinheads. I will never agree with them. But hearing where they are coming from and learning how to learn from that is the best way to help people who are lost if you can truly understand their logic.