The Parable of the Two Monks

Last week was the end of a week-long little email spat. While I was absolutely not in the wrong, the fact that I let it drag out for about 5 emails over nothing is telling. Of me. I did not start this website to boast from above all this excellent wise advice about being like me if you just follow what I say.


Quite the opposite.


I started this website to serve as a reminder to myself to try to stay positive. The helpful articles about how to better your life? They are generally things I have learned that help me get through my day. I share with you what seems to work for me.


I have dealt with anger and depression for years. Angry at the depression results and being bipolar, anger at my failures, anger at injustice everywhere. So many things to be mad about, most of them are not worth dwelling on.
This website is about me as much as it is about you.

It Is Not All About Me

I like sharing with you all things that benefit me. I know what it is like being miserable and gloomy, that was my life for years. The last thing I want is for even my enemies to live through that. In fact, chances are even my enemies do live through what I was going through. That is why we are enemies.


People who lash out and are rude are often unhappy. I am a lot happier than I was, but I still have my stress and frustration. I have learned very well how to prevent myself from becoming angry and staying calm. What I am not as good at is walking away once I do get angry. I am getting better at it, much better, but I still fail.


I still say things I know I will regret and do it anyways.


I still lose my temper.


We all do.

We Are Not Perfect, And That Is Ok

I want to make sure everyone knows, if you read anything on here, there is no need to feel inadequate, don’t feel guilty for not following the advice, and don’t worry if you mess up. Everyone makes mistakes. Even Christ made mistakes, got angry, and doubted himself for those who are Christians. Buddha lived for years as a clueless person ignoring others’ pain. Mohammed made his share of mistakes as well. Nobody is without fault. If histories greatest spiritual teachers lived fault-filled lives, we are going to do the same.
Remember this when you fall back or make a mistake. Everyone messes up.


I am again writing this now to forgive myself for not just an instant of bad behavior, but for coming back days later to ‘calmly explain’ knowing it would likely flare up an argument again accomplishing nothing. This reminds me of a parable of two monks and a woman.

The Parable Of The Two Monks

Two traveling monks reached a river where they met a young woman. Wary of the current, she asked if they could carry her across. One of the monks hesitated, but the other quickly picked her up onto his shoulders, transported her across the water, and put her down on the other bank. She thanked him and departed.

As the monks continued on their way, the one was brooding and preoccupied. Unable to hold his silence, he spoke out. “Brother, our spiritual training teaches us to avoid any contact with women, but you picked that one up on your shoulders and carried her!”

“Brother,” the second monk replied, “I set her down on the other side, while you are still carrying her.”

How many things do you carry with you that are just taking up space in your mind? I sit here writing this first of likely very many mistakes I will make and share with you. Hopefully, my reflections on them can help you when you face a similar situation through my mistakes.

“Brother,” the second monk replied, “I set her down on the other side, while you are still carrying her.”

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